This time of year when even my part of the South is freezing cold, there is only one place in the world I want to be.
Florida! Now some of you may want to argue that Florida isn't actually part of "The South". I sadly, have to remind you that you are wrong. Florida is too wonderful to not be part of the South. We are calling it. Florida sports some of the best tourist traps in all of the world. I wanted to take a moment to talk about one of my favorite Floridian tourist traps: The Shell Factory.
Since only God can makes shells, the name is a little deceptive. Really the whole thing is one big weird touristy mini mall with shops and weird exhibits woven into each other. And yes, they do sell lots and lots of shells. There is a mini shell museum including a miniature cathedral made of shells and this stylish suite made of shells, that may lack in the comfort department.
Spread through out the complex are various shops, including one that only sells creepy Santa Clauses.....
Complete with a massive Fiberglass Santa outside......
There are photo ops galore.......
You can have your picture taken with fake Elvis......
Or if that's not your thing, you can have your picture taken with fake John Wayne.....
Or pose inside a shark jaw, with a haphazard aquarium background hung up behind it.....
Or pose with this golf cart decked out in shells.....
Then of course is the pirate room..........
Where I ran into an old friend.
All that is good, but the main of event of the Shell Factory, is clearly their taxidermy room, where you can find virtually any dead animal.....
Now, that one was just sad.....
As we were leaving the Shell Factory I saw a sign that has left me flabbergasted to this day....
The Carpetbagger
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